This has been one of those seasons.

I have been unwell. Covid arrived, and with it came fatigue, frustration, and the reality that the body does not always cooperate with the plans the mind would prefer to keep. Over the last ten days, I have had to say no to three clients because I have simply not been well enough to hold the kind of space they would need from me.

That has not been easy.

But it has also been honest.

And honesty, in the end, is part of the deeper work too.

What this time has shown me more clearly is not only where my limits are, but also how I actually work, create, and help others heal.

Everything I do begins in the body.

It begins as felt sense, image, atmosphere, charge, emotional truth. Often the image arrives before the words. Often the knowing comes before the explanation. Whether I am doing healing work, writing, creating something funny, or now making music, the thread is the same. It is body-first truth. It is image-led emotion. It is the feeling beneath the feeling. It is the thing that lands in the body before it can be neatly named.

That has helped me understand myself more deeply.

It has also helped me understand why my work helps people in the way it does.

I do not only listen to words. I listen beneath them. I listen for the pattern, the charge, the image, the deeper movement. I listen for what the body knows before the mind has caught up. That is often where the truth lives. That is often where healing begins.

And it is also why I cannot always give the kind of explanation some people want.

Not because there is nothing there. Not because I am being vague. But because not all truth arrives in a tidy, linear, immediately explainable form. Some things are known before they can be fully translated. Some things are felt before they can be logically unpacked. Sometimes my work is to meet what is true first, and explain as clearly as I can second.

That may not suit everyone.

But it is honest to how I work. And more than that, it is honest to how healing often works.

At the same time, something else has been opening.

Alongside the healing reflections and inner work, there has been more creativity arriving in forms I did not entirely plan. Comedy has entered through BOB. Music has arrived with surprising force. And with both of those has come something more personal, more heart-felt, and in some ways more direct.

What I am seeing now is that these are not separate things.

They are all coming from the same source.

The healing work.
The reflection.
The humour.
The songs.
The stories.
They all begin in the same place: in what is felt, in what is seen inwardly, in what is known before it is fully explained.

So this season has carried multiple lessons.

It has reminded me that my work is not only about information. It is about presence. It is about emotional truth. It is about what is real beneath the surface.

It has reminded me that the way I create is also the way I help others heal.

And it has reminded me that I cannot teach return to self while abandoning myself.

Saying no to clients when I am too unwell is not a failure of service. It is a form of integrity. It is me living the very thing I ask others to honour: listen to the body, respect what is true, and do not override yourself in the name of being needed.

So if things seem to be widening a little here, that is why.

The deeper work is still here.
The healing is still here.
But so too are the songs, the strange turns, the humour, the more personal heart, and the forms that truth is choosing now.

This is not a departure from what matters.

It is a fuller expression of it.

With steadiness and wonder,
Shamarie Flavel | Field Explorer & Mystic Interpreter of Living Patterns

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